"I'm Dreaming of a Green Christmas" and other nonprofit holiday songs
Hi everyone, happy holidays. I hope that you are taking it easy these next couple of weeks. This week, instead of reading serious articles about our sector, I learned about the dark origins of Christmas carols. Apparently, back in the olden days, carolers were drunk hooligans who went door-to-door demanding to be let in and served your best food and booze, and could get rowdy and belligerent if you turn them away.So of course, that inspired me to re-write some of our holiday songs. Why don’t you learn them, and then we can try old-school caroling as a novel fundraising technique. Suggest other #nonprofitholidaysongs in the comment section and on Twitter.I’m Dreaming of a Green ChristmasI’m dreaming of a green Christmas Just like I do each end of year When our revenues dwindle But hope for donations rekindled To end December in the clearI’m dreaming of a green Christmas With each of 800 letters that I sign With these words may your heart be swayed Won’t you donate to our mission today?Carol of the Grants
Type type type type
Type type type type…Hark how the grants, sweet, hopeful grants All seem to scream, your org can dreamReview the RFP, easy as can be; Write an LOI, reach for the skyType type type type; try not to gripe Yay, made it through; full proposal’s dueJeeze why the heck, is this so complex? This hurts my brain, this grant’s inaneAnswers in haikus, dammit it we’re screwed; Budget page, wow;this will take hours
Hitting a wall;break, nature calls
An Auditor is Coming to Town
Oh we better not slack
Better not freeze Better look back At all our entries An auditor is coming to townShe’s visiting our site Reviewing our stuff Gotta make sure the finance’s up to snuff An auditor is coming to townShe knows when we’ve been overspending She knows when we conflate She knows when don’t follow protocols So we better not obfuscateLast Christmas, I gave you a check
Last Christmas I gave you a checkI waited for weeks, but you had nothing to say This year, to save me from tears I’ll give it to another mission (mission)Once given, and twice shy I didn’t expect much, but athank-you
note would be nice Tell me, baby, why won’t you acknowledge me? Don’t give the excuse that your CRM is suckyI wrote the check and sent it With a note saying “unrestricted”--I meant it Now I know what a fool I’ve been But if you call me now, I might donate againLast Christmas I gave you a checkI waited for weeks, but you had nothing to say This year, to save me from tears I’ll give it to another mission (mission)I Have a Logic Model
I have a logic model
Was told I needed one That when they see my flow chart My program they will fund Oh, logic, logic model With outcomes I can shout Logic, logic model You simplify what it’s all aboutIt has some lovely columns With boxes and some lines And when you follow the arrows The impact’s well-definedOh, logic, logic model With outcomes I can shout Logic, logic model You simplify what it’s all aboutMy logic model’s awesome Some funders think it’s cool They better stick with this thing And not ask for some other toolOh, logic, logic model With outcomes I can shout Logic, logic model You simplify what it’s all about12 Days of Nonprofit Christmas
On the first day of Christmas, my nonprofit gave to me
A stressful job that I love On the second day of Christmas, my nonprofit gave to me Two containers of hummus And a stressful job that I love On the third day of Christmas, my nonprofit gave to me Three team retreats Two containers of hummus And a stressful job that I love On the fourth day of Christmas, my nonprofit gave to me Four great coworkers Three team retreats Two containers of hummus And a stressful job that I love On the fifth day of Christmas, my nonprofit gave to me Five organizational values Four great coworkers Three team retreats Two containers of hummus And a stressful job that I love On the sixth day of Christmas, my nonprofit gave to me Six talks on equity Five organizational values Four great coworkers Three team retreats Two containers of hummus And a stressful job that I love On the seventh day of Christmas, my nonprofit gave to me Seven consultants advising Six talks on equity Five organizational values Four great coworkers Three team retreats Two containers of hummus And a stressful job that I love On the eighth day of Christmas, my nonprofit gave to me Eight donors giving Seven consultants advising Six talks on equity Five organizational values Four great coworkers Three team retreats Two containers of hummus And a stressful job that I love On the ninth day of Christmas, my nonprofit gave to me Nine board members planning Eight donors giving Seven consultants advising Six talks on equity Five organizational values Four great coworkers Three team retreats Two containers of hummus And a stressful job that I love On the tenth day of Christmas, my nonprofit gave to me Ten funders funding Nine board members planning Eight donors giving Seven consultants advising Six talks on equity Five organizational values Four great coworkers Three team retreats Two containers of hummus And a stressful job that I love On the eleventh day of Christmas, my nonprofit gave to me Eleven volunteers a helping Ten funders funding Nine board members planning Eight donors giving Seven consultants advising Six talks on equity Five organizational values Four great coworkers Three team retreats Two containers of hummus And a stressful job that I love On the twelfth day of Christmas, my nonprofit gave to me Twelve clients smiling Eleven volunteers a helping Ten funders funding Nine board members planning Eight donors giving Seven consultants advising Six talks on equity Five organizational values Four great coworkers Three team retreats Two containers of hummus And a stressful job that I love--Happy holidays, everyone. Thank you for all your do each day. --
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